I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize