Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
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He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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