You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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