i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize