drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
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The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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