just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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