I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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