okay pat passed out under dana's car
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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