i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize