Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize