I'm gonna have a badass scar
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
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stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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