Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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