My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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