That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
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you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
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Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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