take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize