That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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