Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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