i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize