No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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