if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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