My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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