Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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