there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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