I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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