It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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