her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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