How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
