Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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