HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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