i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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