Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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