In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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