you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize