Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm passing your future prison.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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