yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize