I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize