I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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