hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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