First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize