i think my mom watched the whole time
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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