Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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