I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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