I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize