new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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