no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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