I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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