we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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