hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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