btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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