We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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